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 Friday, September 10 2010 @ 09:59 AM EDT

My Review of JJ Abrams's "Star Trek"

   

Book ReviewsThis movie is a giant marshmallow, big enough to engulf the ENTIRE GALAXY with NO WARNING WHATSOEVER!!!

I absolutely hate it when an SF movie's plot depends on the audience's scientific ignorance in order to make sense. That is completely the case here: while Spock is ON HIS WAY to neutralize a supernova that threatens to "destroy the entire galaxy" (eye-roll) the "unthinkable" happens: the supernova destroys Romulus! (maximized eye-roll, facepalm).

OK, folks: a supernova is an exploding star. Compared to the galaxy, stars are quite tiny. While it actually is the case that the highly intense radiation that supernovas produce can induce instabilities in nearby stars, possibly leading to novae or other erratic behavior; and can potentially destroy planetary biospheres... that radiation propagates through space at THE SPEED OF LIGHT, and would take literally HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF YEARS to cross the galaxy. A galaxy-spanning civilization such as the Federation would very probably be able to identify an unstable star long before it actually went supernova, and would certainly want to study that phenomenon quite intensely. They would unquestionably have MANY MANY YEARS (at least) of advance warning before a supernova threatened any habitable world. The notion of the supernova sneaking up and taking an entire planet completely by surprise is inane. Further, WhyTF would the Romulans blame Spock, of all people, for their own total failure to have a fucking clue about stellar evolution?

So much for logic!

OK, now I'll say some good stuff:

The dude who played JT Kirk, can't remember his name, had a few positively Shatnerian moments that just about made me break out laughing.

Some pretty cool-looking ships, state-of-the-art special effects, lots of shit blowing up, and -- crucially -- a pretty fucking awesome parachute jump from orbit.

And Simon Pegg, as Montgomery Scott, ought to have a whole movie to himself. Unfortunately he only has about ten minutes of screen time in this stinker.




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